I would like to give a standing ovation to single parents all over the world.
Megan left this morning for a work conference and won’t be back until tomorrow at 5pm. I cried when I said good-bye. For one, I always miss Meg when she is away. I really like her. But leaving me alone with 3 kids, 2 dogs, and a partridge in a pear tree….that is meltdown city. I tried to pep talk myself so she wouldn’t feel bad leaving but when she got into the rental car I was pretty worked up.
Lets pause to reflect that Meg is at a State of Georgia DBHDD Leadership Academy, she was selected to participate and we were so proud when she got the notice she was chosen. Congrats, Meg, you are awesome and I love that your work values you.
Back to my most recent melodramatic blog post. She left me. All a l o n e. No megan plus laraine, just lonely laraine.
So tonight while I was making cupcakes for the 3rd grade class Christmas Party I poured myself a large glass of wine. When the smallest violin ended its sad song for me, I knew I would blog about it.
Too bad Meg isn’t blogging, I bet she wouldn’t of recounted how I left her alone Tuesday night when I worked until 7:30pm. She looked pretty flustered when I got home that night. She had run the race but she was ready to sit her ass down and have some wine.
We’ve had a lot of saving graces this week. For one, we have a friend who we are going to utilize as a babysitter in the future (thankyouchristina) and she was here both Tuesday and tonight to help out and “get to know the kids.” It turns out we weren’t really alone; are we ever really alone? I feel pretty comfortable that there are at least 5 people I could 911 if I needed. I had to edit this number several times to include people who would die if I didn’t believe I could call on them; because they have already been there to pick up diapers, walk the dogs, bring chocolate and wine.
There are 2 main themes I can find in most posts. 1. This shit is hard (I am going to address that in a minute). 2. We are surrounded by generous, loving people who are amazing to us and are basically co-parenting this situation.
I enjoy telling the truth. The most raw, unedited version. That kind of transparency takes some guts (yes, I just patted myself on the back) and I hope (and know, because y’all tell me) its validating to folks in similar situations. HOWEVER, I have also heard flutterings that this seems too hard or even like we are struggling and can’t handle it; worse that I am scaring people away from ever wanting to foster parent.
Sigh, I understand this is like watching a train wreck, you don’t want to watch but you also can’t look away. I want to provide solace, I am generally sunny side up on the day to day (it annoys people). Y’all we are okay. Heck, we are more than okay. I mean we are struggling, but we are also overcoming and proving to ourselves everyday that this was the BEST decision we have made as a married couple. We love these kids (yes, you can refer back the anxiety post and the sword post to see the dangers and levels of love) BUT we really do. And they bring joy to our lives and to the people around us. I see it. I get to witness others witnessing our little circus and underneath the deer in headlights faces I see hearts beaming.
The best I can say is this will continue to be a dramatic comedy. With a little shimmer of feel good to set the world right again. I will leave you with this, this was my scene for the night….frosting cupcakes (i love baking) and drinking wine (I LOVE wine) and monitoring sleeping babies (they are my favorite when they sleep).