Well I should of written this an hour ago when I was leaving target. Let me start from where we are. Nights are hard. No easy way around it. We play musical beds, musical back rubs, musical “who’s crying”, I think you get it. When this post is done and published (unedited of course) there will be more rounds.
But that aside. I feel inclined to do some instillation of hope; mostly because I need the pep talk and I feel like I should titrate my exhausted emotions for the world.
Today had ups. Man, there were people who SHOWED up today. And because of that we were able to focus on the babies. We moved so slow today. Ate all day because food, breaking bread (or smashing goldfish) is how you build community. We laughed, the kids laughed. We all played inside and outside (Thank you God for a ridiculously beautiful day). We hugged, we read books, we broke up some toy debacles. For a few seconds I paused to embrace what seemed calm. I was like, “We got this.” I caught Megs eye a few times as if to silently agree that we were badass today. We are enrolled in daycare and school and got to the doctor. We almost nailed the “Solomon nighttime routine.”And before I get to the top of the cloud there was the reminders of babies who miss there mommy.
And those damn carseats. Another time we will discuss what effort it took to get those in the car. Jesus, be a fence.
There was sunshine. No kittens and rainbows but there was dessert. When you get a flu shot, you get dessert with “Chocolate, chocolate, chocolate…cookiecookiecookiecookie”. Yep the 3 year old made up a real cute song, you had to be there.
I want to remember the things that went right today because the nights are long and make me feel so out of control and helpless. For real the encouragement is really motivating; we can only do this because we are surrounded by people who love us with strong words and bold actions.
Babies please sleep, you need it and so do we.