Yo yo yo. Just chillaxin’ at the hizzous on this live Friday evening. Ooh, ooh.
Was that cool? I am so cool. I am sorry for the super late post (1am) we were just up house partying. Yea the attire was sweatpants. (Doesn’t anyone remember hit to or kick it nights?) This is our new normal and I LOVE IT. Wine, dark chocolate, and goldfish (notice the hydration present….we have to care for small children, lets stay focused).
But for real, this is exactly what we needed tonight. And Megan may of fallen asleep with her hood on; this is a no shame zone. In that vein, its fair to say I am nice and “warm” for this here blog post.
There are a few things to note over here at #instantparenthood
- This week I really attempted to relate to the children so I should be approached as an overtired toddler.
- Court dates do not equal information
- Things are going better are relative
- There is a lot of different kinds of love
- Kids are curious and also very accepting
1. Even when the kids are sleeping it’s not that easy for me. I am so alert that my sleep is so light. I hear every noise. Our 3rd grader is a loud sleeper. She talks all night long. I fear she will wake up her siblings with every movement. I am on the edge of my seat watching this play out in the monitor. This equals a lowered inhibition to bullshitting. Generally I respect that you can catch more flies with honey than vinegar; in this sate of sleep I don’t even want to catch flies, I want to swat them to the ground and stomp them. Beware, especially the ones I love the most and feel totally safe with…as f’d up as it is, you get the short end of the stick. I know this isn’t forever. I will eventually be of sound mind; until then take cover and be nice to me.
2. People have been interested in details. Of course there is so much confidentiality (story of my life) involved I am limited to what I can share. That sounds so mystic and guarded. The reality is I know little to nothing. I make stories up in my head to draw conclusions. I am pretty smart (even in my exhausted state, so I am probably right…..you want to argue with that? Refer to #1). The best I can say is that we are “safely” housing an 8 year old female, a 3 year old female, and a 2 year old female. More affectionately known as our smart 3rd grader, wacky 3 year old, and baby boy. Entertain this tangent for a minute……2 and 3 year old are not very verbal but when they get super comfy and chat us up they are doing so in spanish. Does anyone want to recall my expertise as a Mexican in the language of Spanish? No bueno.
We have no idea how long they will be here. Each day they are here makes it harder to consider them ever leaving. They are adjusting to routine. They like food, all kinda but mostly goldfish and cookies. I will take the caloric intake as it comes.
They have other brothers and sisters, they are not in our home but we really hope they will get to visit them soon. I can’t imagine being away from my sister without communication (she drives me crazy but I like being around her….its a comfort thing, right sissy face?)
There was a court date today. I anxiously awaited news. None, it was continued. What does that mean. Yo no sey.
For Christmas (many people have asked what should we get them) honestly I don’t know. I would like a mini van and my mother to visit. I think the kids would like toys. No legos, I heard those hurt to step on. I think a play kitchen would be awesome. And dress up clothes, this is a great age for imaginative play.
They are adjusting at school. Every day is a little better. Praise the Lord.
They like routine and count on us to follow the predictable schedule (which fits perfect into my need for control…cheers).
3. I said it before I will say it again, Things are better. Actually things are about the same but Meg and I are coping and managing things better. The initial shock is wearing off and we are dug into our roles and are kicking ass. I even folded some laundry. I die.
4. Love. I love love. Its important to know I live on the “love love love” side of the love spectrum. It makes sense I promise. How we feel about these kids:
a. we love them: we have been commanded by Christ to love one another. NO doubt. we LOVE them; we compelled as Christ followers to pour out the love in our heart for people around us. This love is for everyone, my squatter neighbor to my mom.
b. Like love. We like love them: they are so entertaining. They bring joy to our life. The highs of our experiences build this level of love.
c. affinity love: the kind that grows your heart. the kind that makes me think about these babies all day and plan for what we can do to make the most of our time together. The attachment love. This love is growing more and more each day. I feel connected and weaved into their lives. Its getting harder to imagine our home without them. Even typing this causes me to shed a tear….I can feel how real it is becoming; they know it too.
5. They have asked enough questions and figured out we are married. Conversation as follows:
3rd grader: (looking at our Canadian wedding picture) you are wearing a dress?
3rd grader: why? (note: I often wear dresses, she is asking because she knows something is different about this)
Me: Funny you should ask. This is a picture of me and Megan getting married in Canada. And over here is a picture of us on our wedding day with our family (refers to large portrait, impossible to miss).
3rd grader: Oh, you got married.
(she notices the next picture, its a “you may now kiss the bride shot”- thx courtney….)
Me: And that is one of us kissing (makes gross face….kissing is gross to 8 year olds).
3rd grader: Why did you get married?
Me: Because we loved each other and wanted to be together forever.
3rd garder: is that allowed?
ME: Yes. When 2 people love each other they are allowed to be married.
3rd grader: Oh, cool.
Me: Do you want to get married?
3rd grader: yea, but not today.
(resume play and parade of picture viewing).
We got a smart girl on our hands. Lets focus on the academics for a little while longer.
then we continued on with the rest of our night. And not to jinx this but its been the best night since. All the love we’ve shared is growing and growing. Don’t anyone what if this little wine buzz I am on, I plan on sleeping sweetly next to my wife (the one I love and married, because its allowed).